The first time I was defeated by you. Actually I'm not so sure whether it is the first time. Whatever! What I'm concern is: oh fuck! darn it! I'm not that smart after all. This last minute work does not work on me. Too proud of myself before. Then suffer now. Is not like it will give me the pressure from all over the world, but I'm so not willing to be defeated like this. I know I know. This is all about my emulative spirit. What to do? Maybe because I was brought up in this stupid way. But, I'm okay with it since it is what I do need to get what I need.
Sometimes I'm wondering, since I have time to talk crap here, why not just go try up again. Sometimes god gives miracle to someone that worked hard, maybe it will be me the next time. But now, I was like: So what? Like I care! Ishk! I do care.
This is what I will do. ONE PIECE now, and then PAPERS later.
All back to square-one after all.
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