the peace before a storm

A century since my last post or even a visit to my own blog..
Result coming out soon.. Too nervous to think about it.. Good or bad result will make a very big difference in future.. Different college, different enviroment, different way of life, even different me.. Two different ways like black or white and dark or bright.. No similarity.. No.. intersection..
I wish I have power to choose.. To make my own decision in life.. But why the cruel of the reality can always control everyone destiny? Include mine.. Sometimes I was tired to fight back.. But I was afraid to let down their expectation on me..
But when I saw them.. I wish I can help more people.. Their life were sucks.. When I thought of that, I knew I was the lucky one.. I have great family, great friends.. At least I have no worries in my daily life.. Stupid future thing make me frustated.. Make everyone frustated.. But do they know? We are really the lucky one.. I wouldn't let the others control my destiny.. I will control by myself.. Then only I can help the them.. No matter how.. I still have to go on..